is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
