we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Randomize
