i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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