My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize