I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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