yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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