I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
