Wat do u mean how?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here