I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend