But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
