he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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