I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
someone owes me an orgasm
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
