where does the pee come out of this thing
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
