roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
did you just send me my own nude
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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