we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
