I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize