I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I did not marry a roomba.
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