in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
