In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
