You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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