guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
