Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
