Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
