i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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