sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize