a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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