I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
