i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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