so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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