her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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