i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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