Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
