Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
