brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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