Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
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I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
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Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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