Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
