you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
