I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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