Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
