So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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