Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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