I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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