I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
