wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
