i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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