I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
In America we eat man semen.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
