i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
