hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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