HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
