Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
