I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
