I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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