Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Found your dick twin last night
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
