put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
me + whiskey = a bad person
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize