I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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