they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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