Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
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did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
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Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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