Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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