She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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