found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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