so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
