This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
