I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
