A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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