I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
